Wherever You Will Go
by JennyTylerSmith
Summary: Still reeling from the aftermath of 42, trying to compose himself the Doctor receives an unbelievable, impossible phone call. Doctor x Rose, set in s3 cannon. Angsty, get your tissues.


Set in series 3, possibly after '42' arc.

* * *

Wherever You Will Go

It was oddly quiet inside the TARDIS currently. The only sound inside the ship was the TARDIS's eternal humming. Crouched on a dishevelled, unmade bed was the Doctor. His shoulders were hunched and he was clutching his hair. His eyes were closed and even his tie was half open. A silent tear ran by his cheek.

He couldn't take it anymore. He tries his best, always running, always finding someone so they can distract. Always going to old or new places just to keep him from thinking, but it was only in these moments alone did he shed a tear.

Because there wasn't any distractions here. Not in the stillness of his ship. The day of the events as well as all his losses temporarily caught up with him and he just couldn't stop the tears. For now he was willing to let go, because no one was around him now. For now he would shed some tears so tomorrow when the time comes he can slip on the smile. Martha had gone to bed hours ago and although he wanted to be alone when he was a wreck like this, the loneliness overwhelmed him. He had tried to do some work in the console room but he couldn't make it half way without breaking down.

It's why he had ended up inside this room. It was her room. When he lost her first he had gone mad, he had shouted at the TARDIS in anger to get rid of her room, delete it so he doesn't ever have to see this reminder. The TARDIS had responded and removed it from his eyes but hours later he had begged, begged for her to bring her room back. Because it was only after his anger subsided he realised that her room and her belongings in there were the only thing he had of her left. And she brought it back to him. That night he spent it lying in that bed which held her essence.

Since then he often found himself lying in her bed every time he was on the verge of breakdown. It was the only time he allowed himself to mourn his loss as well as torture himself by thinking of his regrets. How he wanted to change the past. He had often held himself back from her, from taking their relationship any further because he thought it would hurt less when he lost her. Oh how wrong he was. It hurt ten times worse, because she would never know now just how much he loved her. Because he never told her did he? Even when he had his last chance he never got to finish that sentence and it punched him in the gut every time.

The last of the Time Lords and he ran out of time.

A sharp ringing suddenly brought him out of his reverie. Blinking in shock, he stuffed his hand inside his pockets to try and find his mobile. The one Rose forced him to buy in his last incarnation because she was sick of losing track of him. At the thought of her name, a sharp pain went through him. He sighed and composed himself. The ringing continued and curiously he took it out. Not many people had his number, not even Martha had it, so who could be calling him?

He took out the phone but as soon as his eyes fell on the caller ID he froze up. It flashed _her _name. But it didn't make any sense. There is no way her, the real her could be calling him. So it must be a prank or a plan. Someone was out to get him and were using this ploy.

Steeling himself he answered the phone and waited.

He got silence. Getting even more agitated he barked out an answer.

"Who is this? This isn't funny."

But still all he heard was silence. Just as he was about to start shouting, a broken and familiar voice reluctantly spoke up.

"..Doctor?"

Immediately he froze up as he heard the heartbreaking, croaked voice.

"Doctor?" she said it again but he simply couldn't believe his ears. Had he somehow fallen asleep without realising it? Was this another one of his dissapointing dream? Or had he finally lost it and now he was hallucinating? Seemed highly likely. But he kept quiet. Even if it was an hallucination atleast he was hearing her voice again aftre all these months. He was afraid if he spoke he would wake up from whatever this actually was. Was he desperate enough to let this hallucination play out? Yes.

When he heard her sob he finally got the courage to reply back.

"Rose?" he tentatively broke the spell. Waiting for reality to settle back but it didn't. She sobbed even more but she was still there. The voice didn't dissapear. Eyes windening, he used his sonic on the phone to doublt check it and the readings made him raise his eyebrows.

"Rose! Oh Rassilon it is you..." he shouted in relief.

Her voice, which he hadn't heard in a long time, sounded even more angelic than before. And after hearing it again he felt anxious when she wasn't speaking. He wanted to talk to her, god he wanted to. Why wasn't she speaking?

Once she had composed herself she spoke up again and he nearly wept in relief to hear her again.

"Doctor, I can't believe this," she said it this time laughing. He couldn't control himself either. This situation was so unusual and unexpected that he let out a bitter sweet laughter.

"But how did you? How did you get me? I mean, when I said you could call from any space and time I did not include a different dimension?" the curious part of him wanted to know but the other half was simply thanking whatever God or higher being there was that made _this_ possible.

"I don't know...this is the first time it actually did," she whispered this now while hiccuping.

At her this answer he froze.

"Wait...what do you mean this time it actually worked?"

Rose seemed to pause uncertainly then. He did not like the silence, after having heard her in such a long time, he did not want the silence again.

"Rose please don't stop. What's wrong?"

After what seemed like forever to him she spoke up again.

"This isn't...the first time I called you. After I got stuck here I...well I knew it was silly but I still called you. Every night really but this is, this is actually the first time in two years it has actually gone through."

The news finally sank into him as he realised what she had been doing.

"It has been two years for you?" he took in the time frame. Not only did time more faster there but it meant that Rose had been missing him for two years why he only had been suffering her loss for only past months, not even a year yet.

"Yeah."

"And you called every night?" he said it, feeling surprised even as he said it. It awed and surprised him. He knew he would never forget her, because he knew his feelings for her ran deeper. He knew he would always carry the hole her loss left him but he had genuinely thought that she would eventually become happy in that world. Afterall that world had everything she ever wanted. He loved her but she possibly couldn't love him as much as he did, especially after so long.

"Yeah...I knew it had no hope but I couldn't not try you know?" she said it hesitently, "Didn't think it would work today either but it actually rang and you...you picked it up. You still have the phone. For the past, past few days the rift here has been acting up, throwing people out of time and place up, I think the rift could have caused this but I cannot be sure you know. I don't care what did, I just, wanted to hear your voice," she rambled gratefully.

The Doctor couldn't agree more but just hearing the way she was talking made him doubt his observations and assumptions. Was it possible that she did feel the same way towards him?

"I am glad. Rassilon, I am so glad, I miss you. A lot really, even the TARDIS misses you" he said it and the TARDIS hummed as she heard him talking.

"I bet she does, I was the one who actually stopped you from using that blasted hammer on her," Rose reminded him and he smiled fondly at that.

"You'd be lost without me," she said it fondly as well, he could hear the smile in her face.

As soon as she said that his own face became dark.

"I know," he whispered in a lower tone. She seemed to realise the tone and the atmosphere of the conversation and then the teasing left.

"So what are you upto? Still travelling alone?" she asked the question warily. At that he froze up, not sure how to continue. After few moments of silence he spoke up.

"No I, met Martha. Martha is good, funny thing she is training to be a Doctor actually. A real Doctor, not that I am claiming that I really am not a Doctor, I mean I did get a few degrees...well the degrees that they give out to the Doctors here are nothing, I did those when I was ten in Gallifrey so I am technically more than qualified to become an actually Doctor..." he trailed off nervously until she finally interupted him.

"God I missed that."

This caused him to blink and he spoke up.

"What, us talking on a phone? Not sure we did that once?" he teased which caused her to laugh over the line.

"No I missed your ramblings, as well as you really."

"Me ramble? I never ramble?" he said it in a mock serious tone and with a smile on his face. The first genuine smile he has had in a while, one that wasn't just for show or facade.

"But yeah, Martha is good, very clever sometimes. I took her to New Earth you know? I told her about our last time there because when I took her back it was very different-" but before he could finish his sentence Rose cut him off.

"Wait, you talked to her about me? You actually mentioned me?" she said it with shock in her voice. Shock that he did not understood.

"Well yeah, why do you sound so surprised?"

When silence greeted him again he spoke up.

"Rose? What is it? Rose"

"I just...I just thought that you wouldn't talk about me or think..." she didn't complete the sentence but he could understand where she was going.

"What? Why would I do that? Why would you think I would do that? How could you think that I could shove you under the rug?" he asked becoming more and more agitated.

How could she think like that? Did she not know his feelings? It was then it hit him, she didn't. He never got to finish that sentence did he? He had always assumed that somehow, some innate part of her would know but the way she was talking he realised she really didn't.

"Because you always run Doctor, don't even try to deny that. You run, you have had friends, companions even before me, people you were close with but you run. You never mention them, why would I have been any different?" she said it after a moment of silence.

"I said I would never do that to _you, _did you not believe me?" becoming even more confused, "I offered you to spend the rest of your life with me, I don't just go and offer that to anyone."

"Wait...you meant that?"

"Of course I did!"

"I just...I thought it was a figure of speech"

At this he sighed and started speaking again.

"I didn't want you to waste your life for me but I am a selfish man Rose. I meant it when I said you could spent the rest of my life. I don't, I don't go around promise that to anyone you know."

After this confession, they both became silent again.

"I love you."

The Doctor froze at those words again. He hadn't thought he would hear it ever again after that beach but here he heard it again. He opened his mouth but before he could say anything Rose spoke up.

"You don't have to reply or say it if you don't want to. I know you don't but that's fine. I do and I, I wanted you to know cause I don't know when I would lose this connection because it isn't predictable."

The Doctor barely heard her explanation, his ears were still ringing with what she had said.

"What do you mean I don't?" he said it bluntly. His eyes widening at what she was instigating, "All this time I thought, I thuoght you knew, you understood but you don't you really don't. You...you humans can be so blind!" he said it, anger now overtaking him, "Damn it Rose, I love you. How could you not see that?"

That seemed to have caught her with surprise because he could hear her breath hitching.

"I looked for months, months to try and find a way through the voids after I closed it, but I could't. I could only find a tiny hole to say goodbye. I burned up a sun, how could you not know then? I love you, I can't believe you didn't know or believe but I do. Do you even know where I am? At your room, I come here and spend more time in your room than even my room or even console now a days just because it still has your essence. I am that pathetic."

"You...you can't insult humans now," she teased him and he laughed.

"It's typically isn't it? We had two years and we wasted them dancing around each other but now when we clear the air we can't even be together," she said it, her voice becoming even more distressed at each word that she spoke.

"Rose..." he whispered, wanting to sooth her but before he could even say a word suddenly he heard the dial tone, "Rose? Rose?!" he shouted and checked but then realised that he had lost the connection. He looked at the phone blankly with hollow eyes.

* * *

Rose stared at the phone in shock. She knew it was unstable connection but she had wanted more time with him, more time hearing his voice than measly few minutes. Wiping her stray tears away, she dialed a number in her phone. Once the phone was answered, in a composed voice she spoke.

"Mickey. Are you sure that if perfected then the model of the dimension canon would actually work?"

_"According to Tosh and Jake, it would. But this morning you commanded us to scrap that idea. You said you didn't want to go to the other universe or try because he might have moved on."_

"I know, but I want to take the chance now. Tomorrow at work, and for as long as possible we are going to work on the dimension cannon and make it work."


End file.
